The Subtle Ways We Leave Ourselves

Self-abandonment looks different for everyone

Sometimes self-abandonment is obvious. Sometimes it is incredibly subtle.

Maybe you ignored your body’s hunger cues and fasted all day.

Maybe you sat at your desk for hours while your body begged for movement, breath, and rest.

Maybe you pushed your body past its limits in the pursuit of becoming stronger, thinner, faster, more disciplined.

Maybe you had sex while secretly thinking, “Hurry up and finish already.”

One moment may not mean much on its own. But over time, it adds up.

One day, you realize your body feels exhausted all the time.

You realize you’ve been pouring into people who drain you.

You wonder why pleasure feels difficult to access. Why softness feels unsafe. Why you struggle to receive.

You realize you’ve spent years overriding yourself. Ignoring your intuition. Questioning your body. Pushing through exhaustion. Living disconnected from your own needs and desires. And the hardest part is… you may not have even realized you were abandoning yourself.

You were just doing what you were taught. Doing what you saw everyone else doing. Trying to be good. Successful. Wanted. Enough.

You didn’t think to ask:
“Is this actually aligned with me?”
“Does this nourish my wellbeing?”
“Do I even want this?”

Then one day, you wake up and barely recognize your own life.

That realization can feel terrifying.

Wanting change, but not knowing where to begin. Or having so much information that you become overwhelmed trying to “fix” yourself.

But this is not because you are broken. And it is not because you are incapable of making good choices. You have simply learned to survive by disconnecting from yourself.

You were taught to ignore your needs, distrust your intuition, override your body’s signals, and keep going no matter how you felt.

Many women are living this way. You are not alone. And disconnection can be undone.